Deus Ex Machina

What is this about?  
Well, I wanted a place to look at my current state,
just connect to the moment and be; 
see if I could capture that.  

Figure: if I do this when I write other poems, 
then it is possible to capture different snapshots of my mindstate in proximity of writing each poem.

A potential for additional cognitive disconnects; positive discoveries.

 

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I lost the original idea
I came in here for.
So here is a new one:
If k were still in my life,
I would be writing poetry
a more balanced poetry
contemplating human origins
& existence.

ehh!
There it is; the thought.
I am such a sad human being.

 

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I really do not see how 
I will make it through this

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I tried to go out today.
On suspect judgement
chose to get my aura on;
felt like I was losing my mind
and retreated home.
I am not well.
I feel there is 
no reconciliation
with this universe;
I do not belong here.
I need to explain
in better detail
but I don't want to.

 

╣ 000107231749 +07


# Getting my aura on.
# brain is some 
# semi-absent-realm
# can't quite place.

been silent for days;
why?
perhaps a bit or two
about this mind.
It has visions.
Sees possible futures.
Is a builder.

And it can be 
a bit particular;
world just so.

Did I mention,
    my brain,
        spent several years
            as a software engineer.
It builds shit.

# so why my silence?
# given the above,
# is it not obvious
# that I am ...
... ok.
perfect example.
my brain just got lost
on what?
writing a cli,
@¶θ∭command line interface,
  in my mind
  to simplify
  the number
  keystrokes
  to create
  a new poem
 in Jekyll.
And back to silence.
Poems pouring out of my mind.
But my mind insists
    I move my entire workflow
    to git & pages, 
    version control & publication.
    Jekyll the brain.
Markdown, fingertip control
of every detail
of my message,
my poem.


That my brain is moving?
good.
That it is jumping 
immediately back into 
intense as fuck 
engineering mode?
less good.

When my brain goes here,
I often move too fast
for myself to remember 
how I did that.
Om Namah Sivaya.

P.S.

it is curious, 
my sensation in the poem of this moment 
is one of great speed, and yet I am actually, 
perhaps ironically, building this blog very slowly.

I wonder where the cognitive disconnect is occurring?